Extremely Rude, Defensive Responses, When I Needed Compassionate, Understanding Responses
Complaint
Miss Ryan
Country: United States
Hello. I have Multiple Sclerosis (& several other very serious health problems). I just attempted to create a post on http://neurotalk.psychcentral.com/sendmessage.php, in a failed attempt to talk to other people with M.S. (since my current neurologist apparently is not up on the CURRENT research, as he erroneously told me that recent very serious symptoms (including an inability to walk, extreme pain and weakness in my legs, loss of bladder control, serious memory problems, debilitating fatigue; all symptoms of Primary Progressive MS, a fatal condition) were NOT the result of having had two recent M.S. attacks (my symptoms clearly WERE the result of the two serious MS exacerbations).
I therefore have been placed in the very difficult position of doing research of my own on the latest, most up-to-date research on MS (specifically, I’m trying to find out if MS sufferers can have MS, but not have lesions show up on MRI reports).
As such, as mentioned, I tried to post a message on http://neurotalk.psychcentral.com/sendmessage.php. However, after creating a very brief (2 short paragraphs) message, I was unable to post the message, and only received a very unclear, very cryptic message that said something to the effect of “you can’t post due to 10” (would YOU have understood what was meant by this)? I attempted to send my message numerous times; kept getting the same very unclear and weird response. After receiving this weird message numerous times, I sent 2 emails to the “Contact US” link on the site. My message read as follows (and yes, it was sarcastic; however I DID NOT deserve the mean-spirited and highly unprofessional responses (all very lacking in compassion or understanding ) that I received from “CheMar”, the person who responded to my messages)
Email Number one:
“I am new to this site, and am ATTEMPTING to reply to a post (for new members to introduce themselves). Have tried to reply; keep getting a very unclear (???), cryptic message that says something to the effect, of my message needs to be a 10 or some such nonsense.
Can you PLEASE tell me why I'm unable to reply to posts, and what the hell my message "needs to be a 10" means?
Thanks”
Email Number two:
“How the HELL do I respond to posts? I just unsuccessfully attempted to reply
to a post (for Multiple Sclerosis participants) asking for introductions to
new members. I got some weird message, stating something to the effect that
I needed to do something....with a number 10 included in the so-called
explanation, as to why I couldn't respond to the posts.
What the freaking hell does a "10" mean????”
Again, I realize my responses weren't the greatest (if you had the health issues I have, you'd "get it"; that what I need are answers, NOT the defensive, unprofessional responses I recieved from this individual), but it absolutely did not warrant the responses I got from ChaMar. I seriously question WHAT MOTIVATED this individual to have anything to do with a website that is supposed to SUPPORT people like me who have serious, life-threatening diseases, like I do. This woman (? Man?) is unbelievably mean-spirited and as such, should NOT be responding to sick people such as myself. Unbelievable!
CheMar’s responses to me include:
Response to Email Number one:
“you need 10 posts before you are able to post a link. That is our forum anti-spam default so any time you try to post any type of link prior to having made 10 posts you will get that message. It is not "nonsense" ...it keeps our forums free of disgusting porn and other spam links. Everyone has to go through the 10 post membership approval.” Her responding to me by stating that “It is not nonsense” was very defensive, UNPROFESSIONAL, and lacking in compassion or understanding.
Response to Email Number two:
“Our forums may not be the right place for you if you are going to send rude messages like this.” My email was a bit rude, but wasn’t THAT rude, didn’t deserve her very DEFENSIVE response.
I’m therefore reporting this so-called forum, so other seriously ill people such as myself will hopefully be spared from having to deal with this nasty, mean and unprofessional individual who is representing this forum.
I therefore have been placed in the very difficult position of doing research of my own on the latest, most up-to-date research on MS (specifically, I’m trying to find out if MS sufferers can have MS, but not have lesions show up on MRI reports).
As such, as mentioned, I tried to post a message on http://neurotalk.psychcentral.com/sendmessage.php. However, after creating a very brief (2 short paragraphs) message, I was unable to post the message, and only received a very unclear, very cryptic message that said something to the effect of “you can’t post due to 10” (would YOU have understood what was meant by this)? I attempted to send my message numerous times; kept getting the same very unclear and weird response. After receiving this weird message numerous times, I sent 2 emails to the “Contact US” link on the site. My message read as follows (and yes, it was sarcastic; however I DID NOT deserve the mean-spirited and highly unprofessional responses (all very lacking in compassion or understanding ) that I received from “CheMar”, the person who responded to my messages)
Email Number one:
“I am new to this site, and am ATTEMPTING to reply to a post (for new members to introduce themselves). Have tried to reply; keep getting a very unclear (???), cryptic message that says something to the effect, of my message needs to be a 10 or some such nonsense.
Can you PLEASE tell me why I'm unable to reply to posts, and what the hell my message "needs to be a 10" means?
Thanks”
Email Number two:
“How the HELL do I respond to posts? I just unsuccessfully attempted to reply
to a post (for Multiple Sclerosis participants) asking for introductions to
new members. I got some weird message, stating something to the effect that
I needed to do something....with a number 10 included in the so-called
explanation, as to why I couldn't respond to the posts.
What the freaking hell does a "10" mean????”
Again, I realize my responses weren't the greatest (if you had the health issues I have, you'd "get it"; that what I need are answers, NOT the defensive, unprofessional responses I recieved from this individual), but it absolutely did not warrant the responses I got from ChaMar. I seriously question WHAT MOTIVATED this individual to have anything to do with a website that is supposed to SUPPORT people like me who have serious, life-threatening diseases, like I do. This woman (? Man?) is unbelievably mean-spirited and as such, should NOT be responding to sick people such as myself. Unbelievable!
CheMar’s responses to me include:
Response to Email Number one:
“you need 10 posts before you are able to post a link. That is our forum anti-spam default so any time you try to post any type of link prior to having made 10 posts you will get that message. It is not "nonsense" ...it keeps our forums free of disgusting porn and other spam links. Everyone has to go through the 10 post membership approval.” Her responding to me by stating that “It is not nonsense” was very defensive, UNPROFESSIONAL, and lacking in compassion or understanding.
Response to Email Number two:
“Our forums may not be the right place for you if you are going to send rude messages like this.” My email was a bit rude, but wasn’t THAT rude, didn’t deserve her very DEFENSIVE response.
I’m therefore reporting this so-called forum, so other seriously ill people such as myself will hopefully be spared from having to deal with this nasty, mean and unprofessional individual who is representing this forum.
Comments
I therefore have been placed in the very difficult position of doing research of my own on the latest, most up-to-date research on MS (specifically, I’m trying to find out if MS sufferers can have MS, but not have lesions show up on MRI reports).
As such, as mentioned, I tried to post a message on http://neurotalk.psychcentral.com/sendmessage.php. However, after creating a very brief (2 short paragraphs) message, I was unable to post the message, and only received a very unclear, very cryptic message that said something to the effect of “you can’t post due to 10” (would YOU have understood what was meant by this)? I attempted to send my message numerous times; kept getting the same very unclear and weird response. After receiving this weird message numerous times, I sent 2 emails to the “Contact US” link on the site. My message read as follows (and yes, it was sarcastic; however I DID NOT deserve the mean-spirited and highly unprofessional responses (all very lacking in compassion or understanding ) that I received from “CheMar”, the person who responded to my messages)
Email Number one:
“I am new to this site, and am ATTEMPTING to reply to a post (for new members to introduce themselves). Have tried to reply; keep getting a very unclear (???), cryptic message that says something to the effect, of my message needs to be a 10 or some such nonsense.
Can you PLEASE tell me why I'm unable to reply to posts, and what the hell my message "needs to be a 10" means?
Thanks”
Email Number two:
“How the HELL do I respond to posts? I just unsuccessfully attempted to reply
to a post (for Multiple Sclerosis participants) asking for introductions to
new members. I got some weird message, stating something to the effect that
I needed to do something....with a number 10 included in the so-called
explanation, as to why I couldn't respond to the posts.
What the freaking hell does a "10" mean????”
Again, I realize my responses weren't the greatest (if you had the health issues I have, you'd "get it"; that what I need are answers, NOT the defensive, unprofessional responses I recieved from this individual), but it absolutely did not warrant the responses I got from ChaMar. I seriously question WHAT MOTIVATED this individual to have anything to do with a website that is supposed to SUPPORT people like me who have serious, life-threatening diseases, like I do. This woman (? Man?) is unbelievably mean-spirited and as such, should NOT be responding to sick people such as myself. Unbelievable!
CheMar’s responses to me include:
Response to Email Number one:
“you need 10 posts before you are able to post a link. That is our forum anti-spam default so any time you try to post any type of link prior to having made 10 posts you will get that message. It is not "nonsense" ...it keeps our forums free of disgusting porn and other spam links. Everyone has to go through the 10 post membership approval.” Her responding to me by stating that “It is not nonsense” was very defensive, UNPROFESSIONAL, and lacking in compassion or understanding.
Response to Email Number two:
“Our forums may not be the right place for you if you are going to send rude messages like this.” My email was a bit rude, but wasn’t THAT rude, didn’t deserve her very DEFENSIVE response.
I’m therefore reporting this so-called forum, so other seriously ill people such as myself will hopefully be spared from having to deal with this nasty, mean and unprofessional individual who is representing this forum.
My response to latest, mean email:
"You know what? If you had any degree of COMPASSION, which I would HOPE someone in your position would have (but you clearly lack), or better yet, if you had any sense of PROFESSIONALISM, you’d quit responding over and over again (would quit responding over and over again with these very DEFENSIVE emails). You clearly want to keep an argument going.
I’ll tell you what; I may be gravely ill (may even die); but I’d rather be in my position with my sense of compassion, empathy and understanding in place, than be you; a very mean, nasty, defensive and clearly argumentative person. I feel sorry for you. You are despicable.
Unbelievable. Now, here’s a thought; GET ON WITH YOUR LIFE. In other words, stop responding. Get on with your work; quit trying to “win” arguments against me."
From: CheMar [mailto:chemarnt@gmail.com]
Sent: Thursday, August 16, 2012 2:37 PM
To: Katherine Ryan
Subject: Re: NeuroTalk Support Groups Contact Us Form - Site Feedback
It is explained...very clearly in the terms of use that you agreed to but obviously did not read when you registered.
Your attitude and disgusting language is not welcome on our private forums.