automated caller re "lowering credit card rates"
Complaint
Anne
Country: United States
For months now, I've been getting several calls a week from "Rachel" about "lowering my credit card rates" I called the WV better business bureau, and they said they'd been getting them too, no suggestions about how to stop it.
Comments
. . . endorsed Mitt Romney for President today, the 2012 Fall Equinox.
The famous phone voice (Google “Rachel at Card Services” to learn more), says Romney will roll back annoying government regulations like the No Call List, which she terms “an insulting and unnecessary Nanny State measure.” Such ‘consumer protections’ unfairly burden small businesses such as Rachel’s highly successful Florida operation. “If Obama wins, he might actually enforce the List,” she warns.
Rachel, for those who have somehow missed her calls, phones Americans at random, especially the elderly. She explains that she wants to help you reduce your credit card interest rates. You give her your credit card numbers and other personal information. She sells your data to computer hackers in Russia.
The Russians, she says, do the actual helping. "I've outsourced that part," she explains. "Mitt understands how outsourcing leverages American entrepreneurial talent (mine, for example), and helps ambitious Americans like me succeed in growing our wealth."
She is creating jobs for Americans, Rachel says. "I employ scads of callers who could never come up with a creative idea like mine," she adds. “I must say it is disappointing how many of them quit my call centers after just a few weeks. Many would rather take government handouts than work for me. It’s hard to find good help these days. I pay $10 an hour, which is very generous for mindless grunt work."
"I’m a Constitutional originalist. I just want what the nation's founders intended," Rachel insists. "As the Supreme Court has finally acknowledged, we Americans are entitled to say anything we want to each other. People I call can decide for themselves whether to answer their phones. It's up to them to decide to trust me and give me their personal information. Government has no business sticking its bureaucratic nose in. This is private business. We don't need government on our backs."
Rachel admires Romney’s determination to return America to capitalism’s Golden Age “when we were free to become rich, as God intends for true Americans, his chosen people. Mormons understand this.”
Is she proud of getting people to reveal their personal information and their credit account numbers?
"Absolutely!" says Rachel. "I'm teaching thousands of people one of life’s most valuable lessons. And I make my money directly from the people I teach, unlike those greedy teachers’ union members.”
What is that lesson? “Well, ‘Never Trust Anybody’, of course”, she says, smiling. “You knew that!”
“I built this business all by myself”, she adds, more seriously. "All schooling should be privatized. We in private business can teach the public everything it needs to know better than any politician or bureaucrat. Americans don't need tax-guzzling government to learn that creative greed runs the world.”
"Mitt Romney gets it," Rachel concludes. "That's why he must win – and appoint more business-friendly Justices to the Supreme Court, men and women who understand free speech and encourage successful American entrepreneurs to buy as much of it as we can. Progress depends on ‘the ones born every minute’, if you take my meaning.” Rachel smiles winningly and winks. She’s relaxed, with friends.
"Speaking of which: I'm confident that the Koch brothers will get Mitt elected. So I, too, am investing in the American future we all deserve. I’ve ordered ten thousand more robodialing machines.”
"Elect Mitt!” Rachel urges. “He knows who you and I are – the real Americans!"